I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
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She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Randomize
