I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
