"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
