Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yo dont text me then not text me
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
