didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Pants 0. Shit 1.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
