Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize