I just cut my nipple shaving
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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