Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she pinky promised me she was 18
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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