So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
