True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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