I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
