Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
