i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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