If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just forgot I was standing up.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
