So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
no you cant smoke seaweed
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
