Sry I called you an 8
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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