Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
