We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
