dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
