My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
