The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize