I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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