Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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