Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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