Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
