I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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