I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
