Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
