ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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