i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
