On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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