Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize