I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
