I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
