Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
