That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
