my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
