He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
