READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We had sex on a dog bed..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
