apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize