you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dignity is for republicans.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
