I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Randomize
