But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
