I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
