that's an acceptable place to lick
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
