Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
