Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
