He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
