So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
