Buhtt sex?
I've blown a few things in my day
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
