hell yes lets make some ravioli
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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