My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
This is the high leading the old right now
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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