It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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