i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
