THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize