Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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