WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
