Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
