I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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