I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
