a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize