doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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