i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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